Willing

Okay so to tell you this story, I'm going to have to take you to Truett-McConnell College, summer of 2011, at North Georgia School of Gospel Music.
We were in the middle of group singing that night and it was Stephen Butler's turn to direct. He told us to turn to page 16. "Willing," a song that he and his wife had written. It is a beautiful song. He started telling us the story behind the song, which brought me to tears (happy tears of course). I will NEVER forget that story.
I was sitting in the front row, as usual, and Stephen started to tell his tale. "Guys, this isn't a song you can JUST sing. You have to BELIEVE it and make it your PRAYER. It took me a long time to write this song. You know why? It was because I had to be in that place. The place where this song was MY prayer. You can't write a song like this, WITHOUT being willing to go where God leads."
Stephen's story (although those may not have been his exact words) has stuck with me all year. I've tried to be more willing, I really have. I have been trying to follow God, but it always seemed that my flesh got in the way. Until.... today.
You see, I found out this year that Stephen was right in more ways than one that night when he told the story. My sister and I have tried all year to sing Stephen and Stacie's song. It just NEVER came together. Then May rolled around, and it was time to pick a song to sing as a solo for my senior concert. I have 2 cousins and a sister in chorus, so I asked Mrs. Covington if we could sing a song together and she graciously granted my request. I had originally chose "I Choose The Lord" by The Inspirations to sing, but it just never came together. Different obstacles had appeared throughout our time trying to get it performance ready. Then I felt like God was showing me that "Willing" was the song I needed to sing. So Kelsey and I got to practicing, and again, it just wouldn't come together. She was getting frustrated because she couldn't stay on her part, and I was getting frustrated because she was getting frustrated at me. It just WASN'T working.
But then, this morning in Sunday School, Luke talked about having faith. And guess who had the be the example? ME. Ha! But God couldn't have worked it out better, because it got me to thinking about college and all my plans in my life. It made me start to wonder if it was God placing those plans in my life, or if I was the one doing MY will.
I prayed about that all service. That was all that was on my mind (sorry, Pastor Chris for not listening as closely as I should've)! Then at 4:00, my aunt Leslie helped Kelsey and I with Willing, and it all just seemed to start falling in place. I had never been so happy! Then when it came time for service, I was feeling uncertain about the song, along with  my "life plans." And I literally prayed, "God please let Pastor Randy preach on something that will help me. Please Lord, I have NEVER wanted a preacher to preach to ME as badly as I do now!" And you know what? God heard me and answered my prayer (Psalm 40:1).  Preacher Randy got in that pulpit and preached a sermon titled, "Nevertheless at Thy Word" (scripture was Luke 5:1-7). Man, did I need that sermon. He talked about the different ways that God speaks to us. The last point was: "He speaks to us through the saints." And I knew that this point was true, because God was using Pastor Randy right then. When alter call came, I went down to the alter and prayed. I usually don't share my prayers, but I will this time. I prayed, "God, I know I mess up, but I just wanted to tell You thank You for all You have done. And I want You to know that I want Stephen and Stacie's song to be my prayer. I want to be willing! Make me willing to be what You'd have my to be. I will do what You say, I will trust and obey! Not for MY own reward, but for YOUR Glory, LORD! Make me willing to serve you faithfully! Lord, please let me know that these plans I have be of You, if not, lead me away from them. I love You. amen."
I meant every word of that prayer, and when Kelsey and I got in the car and started practicing Willing again. I can honestly say that it never sounded better. I am excited to hear how it will sound when we share the gospel in song at my senior concert!
Lord, we are willing for You to use us through this song! And I pray that You make this the prayer of my family and all of my friends. I will go where You send, and I will heed to Your call. I'm done playing games. Amen.

Willing:
"Whom shall I send," asked the Master one day, to a world that is dying, lost in sin's way; who will go tell them of Calvary's cross? who will reach them no matter the cost?
Chorus (1): Make me willing to be, what You'd have me to be, Help me do what You say, help me trust and obey, not for MY own reward, but for YOUR Glory, Lord, make me willing to serve You faithfully.
Lord, hear am I, hear my prayer as I bow, a heart that is willing, I give You now; Help me to be what You'd have me to be, I am Your servant, I'll go, Lord, send me!
Chorus (2): I am willing to be, what You'd have me to be, I will do what You say, I will trust and obey, not for my own reward, but for Your  Glory, Lord, I am willing to serve You faithfully!
I will serve You, I will serve You, You are my all in all, I will serve You! YES I will serve You, i will obey Your call!
Repeat Chorus (2).

The Inspirations

You know that moment that you realize that the people you have looked up to from so long, actually deserve to be looked up to? I know that sounds weird, but there too many "role models" out there that have people that look up to them and they don't live the way they are supposed to. Well tonight, they people I look up to proved themselves worthy.

Everyone knows just how much I love the Inspirations, and although I could never really put my finger on what it was about them I loved, I know what it is now. Tonight they were singing at First Free Will Baptist Church, my home church. Afterwards, my parents through me a surprise graduation party. Everyone in my life knows just how much I love the Inspirations, so they were invited since they were gonna be there anyways haha. And knowing that they were so busy, no one was sure that they would.

Well it came time to surprise me, and you know what? The Inspirations STAYED. It made my night. It proved to me that they don't do this "just cause they *CAN*" they do this because they love God. and they love God's people. They proved it to me tonight.

So thank you, Inspirations, for being amazing men of God. You officially rock my world!

Confessions of a Teenaged Heart

This year has been one of great emotion. Sadness, loneliness, anger, bitterness, and happiness are among these feelings.

I'm extremely happy to graduate this year, but I can't help but wonder if I have impacted my classmates' lives like they have impacted mine.

I'm so sad that I have been down roads where I shouldn't have been, and possibly ruined my witness.

I feel like I'm all alone in this world as I try to stay on the straight and narrow.

I get angry when things don't work out the way I originally planned on.

I have been bitter at my old pastor, my current pastor, my family and at times even God for things that happen beyond my control.

These are just some of the things that I feel on a regular basis. I know that some of these feelings are normal and it won't hurt me for feeling this way. But some of them can be spiritually deadly.

I have talked to God about all of these feelings, but sometimes, even though I know God hears me, I feel like my prayers don't get far above the bed side. People say it's just because I am a teenager. But I don't agree with this. Teenagers may be moody, but they know more than people give them credit for.

I know what it's like to lose people you love. I've lost twice. I know what its like to be burdened by someone elses' problems. I know what it's like to be judged by adults. I know what it's like to have parents that fight. I know what it's like when you realize things that you thought were important, weren't that important after all.

We know a lot more than people think. We get treated like we have no idea what pain is, or that we don't know what it's like to have your world literally crashing down. We know what it's like when God answers our prayers, and we know what it's like when God doesn't.

I don't understand everything, but I know how I feel. I know that sometimes I feel like God doesn't care, but then I get reminded of the cross. I know that He loves me all the time, whether I feel like He does or not. He is my King!

I love You, Jesus! And I'm happy that even when I mess up or have hateful feelings that You stretched Your arms out wide to tell me that You loved me so much that You DIED to be with me. Jesus, You are my everything. I love You so much.

Confessions of a Teenaged Heart.

I Surrender All

If you have been in the car with me, listened to my Ipod, looked through my CD collection then you know that I have what the worlds considers a "strange" taste in music. I listen to The Inspirations, The Primitives, The McKameys, The Gaither Vocal Band, Karen Peck and New River and many other Southern Gospel groups.

Most people think this is the craziest thing they have ever heard. I've had several friends tell me that they love God, but they won't give Him their music. I also hear people say that it doesn't matter what they listen to, because they go to church on Sundays. I have a hard time believing that.

I can't see how someone can say that they are giving God everything, but are holding things back from Him. I also have a hard time when people say that you can make any song about God, because if others can't tell automatically to whom the song is referring to, then how can it be about God? I honestly believe that if God's in it, you'll know!

I have chosen to give God my everything. I don't agree with my friends' statements. I think that I owe God EVERYTHING. I don't get to pick and chose what I will surrender to Him and what I want to keep to myself. I have to surrender everything I am, own and will become to my Lord! The way I see it, He knows everything that was, is and is to come, then why not give Him my music, movies, language, interests, talents, and future plans? God gave His Son. Jesus gave His life... for US! I think the least we can do is give Them our EVERYTHING without holding anything back, because They didn't hold anything back from us.

"All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him and in His presence daily live! I surrender ALL! I surrender ALL! All to Thee my Blessed Savior! I surrender ALL!"

It's Hard To Stumble (When You're Down On Your Knees)

This has been a year of hurting, loving, learning and growing for me. I am starting to realize the kind of person I am and starting to, clearly, seeing the person I want to become.

So far this journey has been on of apology. It seems like I apologize a lot quicker and a lot more often than I used to. I now realize the consequences of not only my actions, but my REactions as well. Reactions for me, are usually worse than whatever action took place before hand. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's something that I am asking God to help me with.

I started to realize that my reactions were worse than my actions when I saw that even though I never really did anything wrong, and I was just getting warned about something, I would cry. I felt like I never did anything right. I still get that way a lot. It's hard for me to realize that I'm not getting in trouble every time someone tries to help or "correct" me. Since it is hard for me to figure out whether I am "in trouble" or just being "corrected", I tend to flip out a wee bit... I cry, get mad, become frustrated, and then get mad at myself for whatever happened.

I know, now, that my reactions are not healthy. As a Child of God, I should expect to be corrected! I should know that I am not always going to be right. I'm going to stumble, and when someone like a music school teacher, pastor or teacher try to help me along the way, I should THANK THEM and pray to God for the help to change those things.

I know I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I will just keep praying for God's help! I will stumble, but I know it's hard to stumble when I'm down on my knees!

ITS HARD TO STUMBLE

HAVE YOU HAD THOSE DAYS WHEN, NOTHING WENT RIGHT, HOPING YOUR RAINBOW WOULD COME INTO SIGHT. THEN YOU REMEMBER IN ALL YOUR DISMAY EVERYTHING GOES BETTER EVERYTHING GOES BETTER WHEN YOU TAKE TIME TO PRAY.

CHORUS
ITS HARD TO STUMBLE(ITS HARD TO STUMBLE) WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES (DOWN ON YOUE KNEES)EVERYTHING YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU DO THE GOOD LORD SEES(THE LORD ALWAYS SEES) AND HE WILL HELP YOU (HE'LL SURLY HELP YOU ) AND HE 'LL HEAR YOUR PLEA (HE'LL YEAR YOUR PLEA) CAUSE ITS HARD TO STUMBLE ITS HARD TO STUMBLE WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

THERE GONNA BE TRIALS WE ALL MUST FACE, BUT WE HAVE A SAVIOR HE SUPPLYS US WITH GRACE. WHEN WE CALL UPON HIM A PRESENT HELP HE WILL BE FOR ITS HARD TO STUMBLE ITS HARD TO STUMBLE WHEN YOUR DOWN ON YOUR KNEES.

REPEAT CHORUS TWICE

I Am A Royal Descendent!

Okay, so you know that relative that is absolutely crazy? Yeah, we all have them. We love them, but we would rather them not be around 24/7. We also have those relatives that we love to be around. They spoil us, or make us laugh. They are just fun.

Families are just funny sometimes. They fight and they bicker, but through it all, they love each other. The old saying, "Blood is thicker than water" will always be true. Families are what hold people together.

We are all descendents of someone. Being a descendent is what makes us who we are. I am a descendent of Raymond Nix and Nikki Hughes who are descendents of Raymond Nix Sr., Carol Wilson, Annette Duke and Pete Hughes and so on and so forth. I am thankful for my family. They are a big part of my life story!

Although my family is a big part of what makes me: Katie Noel Nix, there is another family that makes me a Child of the King! One day I realized that I was lost and that I needed a Savior! When I surrendered my life to Jesus, I became part of THE family.

I am now a ROYAL DESCENDENT! (:

Royal Descendant

1.
I could tell you I'm nothing
And that would be telling the truth
I could say that I'm worthless,
A hopeless sinner, that's true
Oh but that is just part of the story
I haven't told everything
I was lost reborn and raised a child of the King!

Chorus
And I am a Royal Descendant of a King from Jerusalem
A part of the bloodline of David
That's who I am
And I claim kindred to Isaac, to Jacob, and Abraham
I'm a Royal Descendant of a King from Jerusalem

2.
How in this world can I stand and say such a thing
To say that I'm Royal and to claim
That my Father's a King
Oh, I'll have to take you to an altar
where it happened many years ago
I met the King and now I'm His and
that's all I know!

Chorus

Lessons From The Inspirations Part 7

November 25, 2010 (Thanksgiving Day.)
We went to grandma and grandpa's house for thanksgiving lunch and turkey soup for dinner. We got home late that night and got a call that changed our lives forever. Jessi M. Patrick passed away. One of my best friends. That was hard to get over, I haven't accomplished that yet...

November 25, 2011
Three days prior to this date, my Nana Nix went into a coma. The whole family rushed to Memory Lane (that's really the road name, by the way) to be with her. Uncle Marshall came from his job in Florida, Uncle Bryan an Kim from shopping in Atlanta, Aunt Sarah, Aunt Mary and Daddy were already there. Cousins who were close enough came, or headed our way ASAP. Nana's siblings came from North and South Carolina, and Great Uncle Elbert is coming from Michigan.
I'll never forget everyone's faces when we saw Nana lying in that bed motionless and helpless. It killed the grandkids, kids, and siblings alike.
When she passed on 11/25/11, everyone lost it. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. The kids and Great Uncle Tom were around the bed and the grandkids were draped around the room. She would stop breathing, then start again. Then it just stopped. And the silence over took the room.
Kolbe, Kelsey, Karley and I were talking about the whole situation, while we went to the other room while the funeral home came. We established that, even though we missed Nana, we knew she was in a better place. And even though a lot of our tears came from her death, the majority came from seeing our parents, aunt and uncles reach the breaking point. Our uncles and fathers, whom rarely cry, cried. Our aunts and mothers cried and checked on us. Seeing people we love so much feel so much pain, is probably what got us the most.
We know she's in a better place, but seeing the pain and how much we all miss her, will keep the tears falling for months to come.

Song: If You Only Knew

Verse: 2nd Corinthians 5:8

Song:

Have you prayed for a loved one... struggling hard with pain
you asked the lord for healing.... but that healing never came
and in spite of all your efforts , the good Lord called THEM home
its hard to let go, when your trying to hold on
Now your down in the valley looking up to the sky
and your praying.... "lord you know what's best but I don't understand why"
if you could hear your loved one... speaking now to you they'd say...
you wouldn't be grieving, if you only knew.
If you only knew, I'm just going home, your prayers have been answered, my sickness is gone,
Things look much better from Heavens view, The sun always shines we're having a good time if you only knew
To be absent from the body is present with the lord, I'm in the arm of Jesus now & I'm not suffering any more,
hand in hand we'll stroll together down Heaven's avenue...We're having a big celebration if you only knew.
If you only knew... I 'm just going home Your prayers have been answered,

If you only knew... I 'm just going home Your prayers have been answered,
my sickness is gone. Things look much better from Heavens view,
the sun always shines we're having a time if you only knew

Things look much better from Heaven's view
The sun always shines we're having a time If you only knew!

Verse: We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. 2nd Corinthians 5:8