Growing Up--It's Harder Than It Looks

Tonight was one of the hardest nights I've had in Chorus. It was the class of 2012's last fall concert. Hard to believe. I remember our very first concert... EVER. I still remember when Alex Drost sang soprano. (That actually hadn't changed until recently...)

Mid-song tonight I started to remember all the times I've had with my fellow Chorus members, and some of our classmates. I thought about all the times we've had together, both good and bad. I hadn't realized until tonight how far apart we have fallen. I recall a time where we were all friends and that we loved and cared about each other. I remember being super close with Evans, Alex, Nolan, Kelsey Lockaby, Kelsey Miller, Heather, Lesley, Danielle, Irenee, Catie Tanner, Callie Payne, Callie Dyer, Samantha, Brooke, Lindsey, Morgan Kelley, Morgan Bryson, and the list goes on, and on, and onnnnnnn.

I remember when I used to get texts every day from each of those people. Now, all we do is acknowledge each other (if even that...). It's sad to know that the people that mean the most to me are the same people I hardly even talk to.

That last statement was hard to make, because I still really love each of them very much. they have all touched and changed my life and I don't know what I would've done without them.

I recall times in kindergarten with Catie, Nolan and Samantha. We were inseparable. Then in 6th grade, Tyler, Kelsey Lockaby and I always played American Idol Trivia on Tyler's phone. And how could I forget the time that Heather, Savannah Demers and I prank called everyone in our 8th grade class... "We're calling about your order of Asian Midgets..."

Then in the summers, I spent sooo much time with Irenee and Callie Payne. And all those bon-fires with Danielle, Evans and Alex. Who could ever forget the time Evans picked his plate up out of the bon-fire, threw the burning plate to the ground, and then had to pick it up again to throw it back into the fire. Throwing Alex in the pool was another highlight of that night.

I'm so glad I have all these memories, but it saddens me to think that alot of this will never happen again... It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday! :/ I love you guys. More than you know.

Never Walk Alone

Shattered, broken pieces of a daughter's heart hit the floor one by one with every word yelled out of her father's mouth. Tears burned in her eyes as she tried to hide her emotions as her English teacher told her she was not suited for college and that she would go no where in life. Her heart ached when the ones she loved so dearly turned to other friends and hobbies and left her alone standing in the wind.

We have all seen ourselves in places like this before. We feel alone. Desperate for love from the people we love the most. Everything seems so much worse when everything hits you at once. Especially when you are trying harder than you ever have. It feels like the world is upon our shoulders and we have to prove everyone wrong. We just have to. Or at least that is how I feel when bad things happen.

I feel the need to show everyone that I am more than they think that I am. I have to show my family that I am more than the "black sheep" of the family who only cares about church, music, the Duggars and The Inspirations. I need to show my friends that I am not a Christian just because I am sheltered. I need to show my church that I intend to leave everything up to God, and that I don't care about their personal opinions when it comes to my faith.

The only problem is that I can't do these things.... alone. I can not show them that I am trying to be all God wants me to be when I feel like I'm walking alone. I personally believe that we weren't made to be isolated people. I believe that God made us all to be "People persons." That's why I think that God said He could walk with us where ever we go.

We are truly never alone. God is continually with us. He will NEVER let us walk alone. We may not feel His presence, but He is always with us. Praise God. That's the only thing that keeps me going some days.

Verses: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also." John 14:18-19

Song: Never Walk Alone
By: Brian Free and Assurance

Never Walk Alone

Verse 1: Arms stretched out wide, barley hanging on to life

left to suffer on your own

You came for all man kind to bridge the great divide yet some how ended up alone

because of all the blood and tears you shed,

I will never know that kind of loneliness

chorus: You spirit never leaves me,

Verse 2:Even when I'm hurting

I don't have to bear that burden on my own

You carried all the pain and buried all the shame

When you made that rugged tree Your righteous home

Because of You I'll never walk alone.

You came here as a man, I know you understand

What it's like to walk these roads

though my problems don't compare to that crown you had to wear

still you take them as your own

because of all the blood and tears your shed,

I will never know that kind of loneliness.

chorus 2xs

Lord, because of you I'll never walk alone.