I Can't Keep From Singing!

This past weekend, I got the chance to spend the whole weekend with two of my best friends: Katie Duncan and Ashlee Gormer. Katie and I have been planning this weekend for at LEAST 3 years. When the weekend finally came, I was beyond excited! We had so much fun. We rode around Monroe, played Wal-Mart Bingo, danced to Payphone, and went to church. Katie and Ashlee go to Bible Baptist Church in Monroe, Ga. This is also the church that our music school teacher, Stephen Butler, holds the position of Choir Director. He had NO IDEA I was there, we were planning on surprising him. To be honest, I was surprised that we had kept this a secret! When we walked into our Sunday School room (he taught our class), he freaked out. I was so happy that he was happy to see me! haha. To some people, that would've been a horrible surprise.

I ended up staying til the night service and sang with Stephen and Ashlee. We sang Justin and Jason Myers' song "I Love To Sing." Man, they didn't know when they picked the song, but I needed to be reminded of that fact alone: I love to sing! We rocked it and then I had to head back to little ol' Blairsville shortly after.

While I was "on the road again," a song came on my iPod entitled: "Remind Me of The Cross" by Brian Free and Assurance. This song talks about whenever we feel like we need to complain, that God would bring the Cross back into our minds. Well, that Sunday afternoon, I took it a totally different way.

While listening to the song, all I could think about how truly blessed I am, and how much I don't deserve anything I have. My mind travelled through the weekend. I had so much fun and many memories were made. I just couldn't understand why Jesus would go through all that pain just so I could have blessings like Katie, Ashlee and Stephen (just to name a few of course). So, being the emotional person I am, I cried and prayed. I prayed for Katie and her family, Ashlee, Stephen, their church, and their choir. I prayed and cried until I had to look at my GPS on my phone.

Now that car ride home was an experience on it's own. God showed me so much in that car ride, but little did I know that I was gonna need that weekend later through the week.

This has been a trying week. We have no money. At all (the man daddy was working for wouldn't pay him...). I saw my daddy cry because he didn't know how we were gonna make it. I decided it would be better to go and work this semester instead of going to college to save for college and pay my way through and help the family. And today mom just told me that we may not be able to drive to Hayesville to go to our church anymore because we can't afford it. That was a hard blow.

After knowing most of this story, I just didn't know what to do. I texted Katie Duncan and told her most of what was going on, and she promised that she would be praying. After that conversation, I decided I was going to go to bed. I laid down and was listening to my iPod. I put it on shuffle and listened for a while.

I was about to take my headphones out of my ears and go to sleep when this song I had never heard came up. I looked at the song title and artist. It was "I Can't Keep From Singing" by Sisters. I decided to listen to it because I love Sisters and it seemed like a song I would like. The song talked about how they knew that life wasn't a bed of Roses but they couldn't help but sing because of all the things God has done in their lives.

As I laid listening, I thought about the weekend I just had (before I knew all about the stuff at home). It was the BEST. I knew God had orchestrated the whole weekend to remind me that He loves me. Even if I am going through a valley, I still have a song to sing (which reminds me of another Brian Free and Assurance song)! Everything will work out the way it's supposed to, but until then, I have my family, my friends, my music school family and church to lean on. "I can't keep from singin', dancin', gotta tell the world about the freedom that I've found!"

NGSGM 2012 - I Have Been Changed!

Summer 2012 had finally arrived. And I, for one, knew what that meant. The North Georgia School of Gospel Music was just around the corner. I couldn't wait. After working a few weeks, the week of NGSGM had found it's way to my front door. When I eagerly opened the door to a dear "old friend," I realized that music school wasn't exactly how I remembered it.

In years past, NGSGM had been a haven for me. A place to go and see friends that I had special bonds with. I got to see the sweet, loving faces of the teachers I had grown to love and the "older kids" that I had FINALLY became a part of.

But this year... this year was different. I arrived to the Truett-McConnell campus and EVERYTHING had changed. The college was being extremely strict, dorm parents became a little more uptight, there were teachers who had gone missing and new teaching faces that I had to learn. I was already overwhelmed and I had only been there for about five minutes! Then came the first of many roll calls. I walked into the Otwell dorm expecting to know almost everyone, just as I had in years past, and realized that I knew NO ONE (with the exception of a few familiar faces of course)!

I couldn't believe it. There were young kids coming from everywhere. It was crazy. My friends and I couldn't believe how many new kids we had. It was a blessing and a curse all in one. We were blessed that so many new kids had decided to join the "family" that we loved so much, but it was a curse knowing that so many of our friends hadn't returned.

I try my hardest not to be a "Debbie Downer" but I couldn't help but think: "Where is everyone? Why did I come back? I should've went on the missions trip! I miss Jason and Maria! It's not the same without them!" Needless to say; I was bummed.

The first week came and went, and I had a lot of fun, but I was kinda disappointed that I let the Devil get ahold of my mind as strongly as he did. Because looking back now, I know God had so many blessing in store for me, but I let the Devil remind me of everything that was going wrong. I wasn't focused.

When it was time to return, I went back with a totally different attitude. I went back with a mission to let God use me. I went back with the mindset that I was going to make a difference. I was going back, and I was going to serve the Lord with all I had, and hopefully have fun while doing it.

Boy, going back with THAT mindset changed everything! I think I had more fun than I have ever had at Music School (and that's saying a lot since I've been there for around 11 years)! Everyday it just kept getting better!

Tuesday night during devotion, God poured out His blessings on Otwell. All the girls shed some tears and got to share the things God had laid on their hearts. Most of the older girls still felt the Spirit after roll call and it spilled on over into the dorm room! Thursday, we had two saved! It doesn't get much better than that, folks!

By the end of the second week, I started to realize that everything that had went "wrong" in the past week, were things that I was letting take my focus away from God. I probably wasn't the most pleasent person to be around that first week, and I am ashamed of that, but I can't change it.

The Katie that went into NGSGM thinking it was just going to be a normal year, left as a totally different person. I learned that God truly works in mysterious ways. Sometimes He has to get us out of comfort zone to truly use us. During those two special weeks of NGSGM, God had showen me not to be afriad of the call He has for me. He renewed my love of Gospel music and my love for Him and His people.

I wouldn't trade a thing for those two weeks. NGSGM has always held a special place in my heart, and always will. The North Georgia School of Gospel Music has shown me that I am called to the music industry (whether it be working in the office for a gospel group or being used as a sound engineer, ect.), that I am part of a wonderful musical family and that I am not alone in this crazy world.

NGSGM: we will ALWAYS have music to tie us together, but if one day we ever forget the songs we've sang together, or maybe even the memories we've shared, the greatest tie we have to each other is the Savior we serve. I love you guys! <3

"I have been changed! Yes, I know that I have been changed! And all that I was before has been rearranged! For I have been touched by God, transformed inside and out! I have been changed, praise God! Yes I have been changed!"

FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY Made with an ACCENT

Do you have something you wish you could change about yourself? EVERYBODY has something about themselves that they don't really like. For me, it has always been how white I am and that I can't tan. But here lately, I have been wanting to change some other things.

If you haven't noticed when you have talked to me, I have a rather thick country accent. I always have, but I never noticed until people started picking on me for having one. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people picking on me when I talk, I am totally used to it by now. But the reason I wish I could change it is because some other people want to change it, or they don't like my accent.

Ever since I started realizing how much of an accent I have, people have always told me to be proud of it, because "not many people talk that way anymore." I try hard to be proud of it; I love my accent. But then someone comes and reminds me that it's not "correct" to have any sort of accent.

This is hard for me, because I love to talk and sing. I love those two things (and Jesus!) more than anything in the world. And when you love to talk and sing, it's hard to have an accent and still remain proud of how God made you.

For example, in ensemble today at music school, we were practicing our song and Jessica kept saying that we needed to get rid of our twag while we sang, and naturally, everyone in the room looked at me and/or said: "Katieeeeeeee! Gehh' rrrrriddda yourrrr twwwwagggg!" I'm used to hearing these comments from Mrs. Covington, Evans, Alex and the rest of the Union County High School students, so I just laughed and tried. It really didn't  really work the way we wanted it to.

Then in group singing before lunch (which is probably where I should be now), Jessica got up in front of the whole group to lead some songs. AS SOON AS SHE GOT UP THERE, she starts in on how we need to change the way we speak when we sing. Guess what happens next. Everyone, even the piano player (whom is one of my really good friends) looked at me. At that point, I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I was officially fed up with everyone talking about my accent.

Don't get me wrong, I know that when singing in a group, we need to sound the same. But what I think people forget is that I grew up sounding this way: loud, proud and country. I try to change it, but the more I try, the less it feels like I am singing for Jesus and for me.

Today, I realized just how much I wish I could just drop the accent. I was fighting back tears the rest of group singing. I just sat there wishing that I could sound like they wanted me to, wishing that I could lose the accent so that they would consider me a "good singer."

In the midst of tears, a verse came to mind. "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14. For those of you who don't know this, Psalm 139:14 is my favorite verse. I quote it to mom all the time when she talks about how white I am. But when God reminded me of this today, it wasn't about my skin tone, it was about my accent.

That verse doesn't just talk about how you were physically made, it talks about your personality, likes, dislikes and yes, your ACCENT. I was made fearfully and wonderfully, why should I be ashamed of my accent? God gave it to me! It's something that's special, because not everyone has an accent like mine.

And as far as ANYONE at NGSGM thinking that I am a "bad singer" because of my accent, PLEASE go Google "Karen Peck." God can use people with accents too! I choose today to be proud of my country accent, because it's a gift God has given me.

Mary For A While

It's a Friday night, and you have very important people coming over to your home to eat dinner and have a fun time. What is the first thing you do that Friday morning? Well, it could actually be a number of things. Some people clean or go shopping for groceries. Personally, for my family (mostly my mother), we clean and clean and then clean some more! After all of this cleaning is done, we make many last minute trips to Walmart searching for odds and ends that we have forgotten while going through the hustle and bustle of cleaning and preparation we must go through for entertaining guests.

When it finally came time for us to get all dolled up and smelling fresh-like, I was playing music on my iPhone in in my room. While doing my hair (which take forever when you have as much hair as I do...), the Perrys came on. This is one of those songs that you have to be in the "mood" for. It's not a summer, roll down your windows and cruise song. It's an amazing song that deserves alot of thought when you are listening to it. This song is called "Mary For a While." It's about the story of Mary and Martha.

Those of us who have grown up in church, have heard this story all our lives. We know about how when Jesus came to the home of Mary and Martha, Martha kept cleaning and preparing things while her sister, Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus and taking in the divine moment she had with Him. Martha, like most of us probably would've reacted, went to Jesus and complained about how Mary wouldn't do the "womanly" job and come help her clean and cook for the guests. Jesus replied with a simple answer: "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42)

Now, I have tried to put my feet in Martha's shoes (which if we are all honest with ourselves, placing ourselves in Martha's shoes isn't too difficult because some of us are always there), and I asked myself: "What would I have said to Jesus if He has told me that after I had done everything around the house and my sister did nothing, that SHE was the one doing what she was 'supposed' to?" My answer came back a little too quickly! I'm gonna be brutally honest with myself here; I would've cried from anger. I wouldn't have understood why Jesus didn't want me to be a good host like my mother taught me to do as a child. I also would've asked Him why. Why wouldn't Jesus want us to have a presentable home or to serve our guests whenever they needed anything. I wouldn't have understood!

We are all born with a "Martha Mind." We all want to impress and serve our guests. Which isn't wrong! There is a time and place for that! But.... what is the point of having a clean house, fantastic food and great company if you can't take time to just sit back and ENJOY IT?! We all need to become like Mary! She knew the importance of spending time with a guest. Mary knew that she didn't need to continually cook and clean and serve her friends for them to have a good time.

Most importantly, Mary knew how precious her time with the Savior would be. She knew that His presence shouldn't be interrupted but the trivial things of this life. Mary knew alot of things that I am still trying to learn. She knew she needed to be still and listen. If we all became like Mary, not JUST during church services, but during our daily walk with Christ, imagine how much better our lives would be.

I want to be Mary For A While! Shoot, I want to be "Mary Minded" for the rest of my life!

Scripture: Luke 10:38-42
Song: Mary For A While
Artists: The Perrys

Verse One: A quiet afternoon in Bethany, Mary sits alone at Jesus' feet. But in the other room, Martha has so much to do, she's missin' out on fellowship sweet. And I know I could be Martha all day, let my chance to be with You slip away!

Chorus: I want to be Mary for a while in all that I do! Close the door to everything that keeps my heart from You! Lord, I want to rest here and feel Heaven smile! I want to be Mary for a while!

Verse Two: I know I'd make Martha proud of me, with lots to do and places I must be. Yet I need this time to refresh my heart and mind; Your presence Lord is just want I need! 'Cause I know I could be Martha all day, let my chance to be with You slip away!

Chorus

Tag: Draw me nearer, Draw me nearer, precious Lord, draw me nearer to Your side! Lord, I want to rest here and feel Heaven smile! I want to be Mary for a while!

Willing

Okay so to tell you this story, I'm going to have to take you to Truett-McConnell College, summer of 2011, at North Georgia School of Gospel Music.
We were in the middle of group singing that night and it was Stephen Butler's turn to direct. He told us to turn to page 16. "Willing," a song that he and his wife had written. It is a beautiful song. He started telling us the story behind the song, which brought me to tears (happy tears of course). I will NEVER forget that story.
I was sitting in the front row, as usual, and Stephen started to tell his tale. "Guys, this isn't a song you can JUST sing. You have to BELIEVE it and make it your PRAYER. It took me a long time to write this song. You know why? It was because I had to be in that place. The place where this song was MY prayer. You can't write a song like this, WITHOUT being willing to go where God leads."
Stephen's story (although those may not have been his exact words) has stuck with me all year. I've tried to be more willing, I really have. I have been trying to follow God, but it always seemed that my flesh got in the way. Until.... today.
You see, I found out this year that Stephen was right in more ways than one that night when he told the story. My sister and I have tried all year to sing Stephen and Stacie's song. It just NEVER came together. Then May rolled around, and it was time to pick a song to sing as a solo for my senior concert. I have 2 cousins and a sister in chorus, so I asked Mrs. Covington if we could sing a song together and she graciously granted my request. I had originally chose "I Choose The Lord" by The Inspirations to sing, but it just never came together. Different obstacles had appeared throughout our time trying to get it performance ready. Then I felt like God was showing me that "Willing" was the song I needed to sing. So Kelsey and I got to practicing, and again, it just wouldn't come together. She was getting frustrated because she couldn't stay on her part, and I was getting frustrated because she was getting frustrated at me. It just WASN'T working.
But then, this morning in Sunday School, Luke talked about having faith. And guess who had the be the example? ME. Ha! But God couldn't have worked it out better, because it got me to thinking about college and all my plans in my life. It made me start to wonder if it was God placing those plans in my life, or if I was the one doing MY will.
I prayed about that all service. That was all that was on my mind (sorry, Pastor Chris for not listening as closely as I should've)! Then at 4:00, my aunt Leslie helped Kelsey and I with Willing, and it all just seemed to start falling in place. I had never been so happy! Then when it came time for service, I was feeling uncertain about the song, along with  my "life plans." And I literally prayed, "God please let Pastor Randy preach on something that will help me. Please Lord, I have NEVER wanted a preacher to preach to ME as badly as I do now!" And you know what? God heard me and answered my prayer (Psalm 40:1).  Preacher Randy got in that pulpit and preached a sermon titled, "Nevertheless at Thy Word" (scripture was Luke 5:1-7). Man, did I need that sermon. He talked about the different ways that God speaks to us. The last point was: "He speaks to us through the saints." And I knew that this point was true, because God was using Pastor Randy right then. When alter call came, I went down to the alter and prayed. I usually don't share my prayers, but I will this time. I prayed, "God, I know I mess up, but I just wanted to tell You thank You for all You have done. And I want You to know that I want Stephen and Stacie's song to be my prayer. I want to be willing! Make me willing to be what You'd have my to be. I will do what You say, I will trust and obey! Not for MY own reward, but for YOUR Glory, LORD! Make me willing to serve you faithfully! Lord, please let me know that these plans I have be of You, if not, lead me away from them. I love You. amen."
I meant every word of that prayer, and when Kelsey and I got in the car and started practicing Willing again. I can honestly say that it never sounded better. I am excited to hear how it will sound when we share the gospel in song at my senior concert!
Lord, we are willing for You to use us through this song! And I pray that You make this the prayer of my family and all of my friends. I will go where You send, and I will heed to Your call. I'm done playing games. Amen.

Willing:
"Whom shall I send," asked the Master one day, to a world that is dying, lost in sin's way; who will go tell them of Calvary's cross? who will reach them no matter the cost?
Chorus (1): Make me willing to be, what You'd have me to be, Help me do what You say, help me trust and obey, not for MY own reward, but for YOUR Glory, Lord, make me willing to serve You faithfully.
Lord, hear am I, hear my prayer as I bow, a heart that is willing, I give You now; Help me to be what You'd have me to be, I am Your servant, I'll go, Lord, send me!
Chorus (2): I am willing to be, what You'd have me to be, I will do what You say, I will trust and obey, not for my own reward, but for Your  Glory, Lord, I am willing to serve You faithfully!
I will serve You, I will serve You, You are my all in all, I will serve You! YES I will serve You, i will obey Your call!
Repeat Chorus (2).

The Inspirations

You know that moment that you realize that the people you have looked up to from so long, actually deserve to be looked up to? I know that sounds weird, but there too many "role models" out there that have people that look up to them and they don't live the way they are supposed to. Well tonight, they people I look up to proved themselves worthy.

Everyone knows just how much I love the Inspirations, and although I could never really put my finger on what it was about them I loved, I know what it is now. Tonight they were singing at First Free Will Baptist Church, my home church. Afterwards, my parents through me a surprise graduation party. Everyone in my life knows just how much I love the Inspirations, so they were invited since they were gonna be there anyways haha. And knowing that they were so busy, no one was sure that they would.

Well it came time to surprise me, and you know what? The Inspirations STAYED. It made my night. It proved to me that they don't do this "just cause they *CAN*" they do this because they love God. and they love God's people. They proved it to me tonight.

So thank you, Inspirations, for being amazing men of God. You officially rock my world!

Confessions of a Teenaged Heart

This year has been one of great emotion. Sadness, loneliness, anger, bitterness, and happiness are among these feelings.

I'm extremely happy to graduate this year, but I can't help but wonder if I have impacted my classmates' lives like they have impacted mine.

I'm so sad that I have been down roads where I shouldn't have been, and possibly ruined my witness.

I feel like I'm all alone in this world as I try to stay on the straight and narrow.

I get angry when things don't work out the way I originally planned on.

I have been bitter at my old pastor, my current pastor, my family and at times even God for things that happen beyond my control.

These are just some of the things that I feel on a regular basis. I know that some of these feelings are normal and it won't hurt me for feeling this way. But some of them can be spiritually deadly.

I have talked to God about all of these feelings, but sometimes, even though I know God hears me, I feel like my prayers don't get far above the bed side. People say it's just because I am a teenager. But I don't agree with this. Teenagers may be moody, but they know more than people give them credit for.

I know what it's like to lose people you love. I've lost twice. I know what its like to be burdened by someone elses' problems. I know what it's like to be judged by adults. I know what it's like to have parents that fight. I know what it's like when you realize things that you thought were important, weren't that important after all.

We know a lot more than people think. We get treated like we have no idea what pain is, or that we don't know what it's like to have your world literally crashing down. We know what it's like when God answers our prayers, and we know what it's like when God doesn't.

I don't understand everything, but I know how I feel. I know that sometimes I feel like God doesn't care, but then I get reminded of the cross. I know that He loves me all the time, whether I feel like He does or not. He is my King!

I love You, Jesus! And I'm happy that even when I mess up or have hateful feelings that You stretched Your arms out wide to tell me that You loved me so much that You DIED to be with me. Jesus, You are my everything. I love You so much.

Confessions of a Teenaged Heart.